What the fuck is wrong with me? I went to The Iron Bear because Ray was going to be there to surprise his BF Chad. I went into the bar, got myself a Ziegenbock and the my instinct just put me in wallflower mode.
I found a chair in the corner of the bar and slowly drank my beer. All the while I was clutching my phone. I WAS CLUTCHING MY FUCKING PHONE! It didn’t start out too bad. I just sat there and stared out into the crowd. I didn’t smile or move to the music or anything, I was just this shy, TERRIFIED, cub sitting alone in the corner. Barely anyone gave me a second glance if I even got a first one.
So, I was waiting for Chad to arrive so Ray would come out of hiding and surprise him and I could possibly have hung out with him or something. At least given him a hug or something.
I finished my beer. I sat, staring, clutching my phone. Glanced at Bruizr.
I finally got up to get another beer. I went back to the same guy I got the first one from. Then I just cowered in the corner. I was shaking, I was even tearing up. I actually started crying a little.
I finished my beer. Now this whole thing was within an hour and a half. From what was originally planned, Chad was suppose to show up at 10. I was 10:45 when I finished my second beer and I messaged Ray.
Me: I’m going to head home. I’m close to having an anxiety attack or something
As I was heading out of the bar, my phone was clenched in my right hand and left hand was balled into a fist. I think I already had that anxiety attack. I didn’t say anything to anyone as I walked back to my car. I hadn’t felt this alone in my left since August 24th, 2007 when I walked into the hospital room and Karl was already dead. I tried to hold it back, I tried the best I could the entire walk back to my car but some sobs were released. I was cursing Karl. I loved him and hated him all at the same time. I put I Hate Love on repeat as I drove home, sobbing on and off. I slowly walked into my apartment. Sonnet jumped on me, but I just walked to the bed where he jumped up. I didn’t go onto the bed but I did lean over and gave her a kiss.
Then I came here. I typed this up. I’m crying again. Feeling so alone. I should have never gone to the Iron Bear. I don’t think I’ll ever go to a bar or a bear event again. I’ll forever be alone.
But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)
Director: Jamie Babbit
Writers: Brian Wayne Peterson, Jamie Babbit
Stars: Natasha Lyonne, Clea DuVall and Michelle Williams
Summary: In this hilarious satire, Megan Bloomfield (Natasha Lyonne) lives a “normal” teen life as a cheerleader dating the captain of the football team. But her parents and friends suspect Megan is gay because of “clues,” such as her distaste for kissing her boyfriend. Shipped off to True Directions — a camp designed to shove her back in the closet — Bloomfield meets tomboy Graham Eaton (Clea DuVall), who helps her recognize her sexual orientation.
I’ve always loved this movie. It shows the absurdity of the so called “Sexual reorientation” programs. It also deals with people’s denial of being gay and all in good fun too. Seeing RuPaul not in drag was a little weird despite that fact that she . . . he had a spectacular performance. It’s weird calling RuPaul a he. Anyway, this is definitely proof that he . . . she . . can act, so stay away from Starrbooty. The rest of the cast was fantastic and I have nothing bad to say about this movie.
Challenge complete. *collapes in a heap*
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Director: Jim Sharman
Writers: Richard O’Brien, Jim Sharman
Stars: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick
Summary: This notorious horror parody — a fast-paced potpourri of camp, sci-fi and rock ‘n’ roll, among other things — tracks the exploits of naïve couple Brad (Barry Bostwick) and Janet (Susan Sarandon) after they stumble upon the lair of transvestite Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Tim Curry). The film — a bizarre musical co-starring Meat Loaf and Richard O’Brien — bombed in its initial release but later gained a cult following at midnight showings.
What can I say? I can’t not love this movie. It’s definitely not a movie for everyone but I love it. I’m just chicken to go to one of the live shows. Especially if they know it’s my first time going. Horror stories, I tell you. Anyway, this is definitely a cult film. I’m a huge fan of Tim Curry. The songs are very memorable and how can you not want to stand up and do the Time Warp?
Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild! (2008)
Director: Todd Stephens
Writers: Todd Stephens
Stars: Jonah Blechman, Jake Mosser and Aaron Michael Davies
Summary: In this outrageous sequel to Another Gay Movie, best friends Andy (Jake Mosser), Nico (Jonah Blechman), Jarod (Jimmy Clabots) and Griff (Aaron Michael Davies) enjoy a crazy spring break in Fort Lauderdale when they compete in a "Gays Gone Wild" contest to see who can bed the most hunks. In order to come out on top, they’ll have to conquer giant genital crabs and evil gay frat boys. This campy comedy also features RuPaul and Perez Hilton.
Nice, 14 movies after number 14 and I review it’s sequel. With only Jonah Blechman returning for this movie, there didn’t seem much for this to connect to the first. Oh, Scott Thompson returned as well. This is essentially another movie just like the first. Sure different plot line, different cameos, slightly different outcome, but all in all, still another funny movie. Repeat offender
Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss (1998)
Director: Tommy O’Haver
Writer: Tommy O’Haver
Stars: Brad Rowe, Sean Hayes and Richard Ganoung
Summary: Billy (Sean P. Hayes) is more passionate about his Polaroid camera than anything else, until a hunky — but straight — waiter named Gabriel (Brad Rowe) comes along. He convinces Gabriel to participate in his latest photography project, an opus that involves homoerotic re-creations of classic movie moments. But the fact that Gabriel has a girlfriend doesn’t stop Billy from trying to sway his sexual orientation.
It’s Jack! As a character who is almost the exact opposite of Jack. It’s a very sweet movie with Billy finding a really great man then trying to work out if he’s straight or gay. The acting in this movie was great. I love the style of Billy telling a story and it being presented, not as a flashback but in a series of Polaroid picture. The story was very consistent and it was refreshing to have a movie that didn’t have to go over the top for humor. This has been listed as a comedy but I’m not really sure how comedic it really is. I’d say it’s more of a dramatic romance with the requisite number of comedic moments.
Big Eden (2000)
Director: Thomas Bezucha
Writer: Thomas Bezucha
Stars: Arye Gross, Eric Schweig and Tim DeKay
Summary: Successful but lonely New York artist Henry Hart (Arye Gross) returns to Big Eden to care for his ailing grandfather and winds up confronting his unrequited passion for his high school best friend and his feelings about being gay in a small town. As Henry works though his emotions, the townspeople quietly conspire to help him along, until Henry realizes new possibilities for both friendship and romance. Eric Schweig and Louise Fletcher also star.
Maybe because previously I didn’t really watch this movie, but my original opinion was that I didn’t like it. This new viewing game be an entirely different perspective. It’s not really one of my favorites but I’m not much for the embarassing comedy moments. This film is well acted and shot. I really cannot have much if any complaints about this movie. The only thing I can think of is that the immediate gay acceptance of the little town is unbelievable. The great thing about this movie. I don’t care. It just makes me happy.
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The Big Gay Musical (2009)
Directors: Casper Andreas, Fred M. Caruso
Writer: Fred M. Caruso
Stars: Daniel Robinson, Joey Dudding and Jeff Metzler
Summary: Life imitates a play, and that’s just the thing for sending up the Bible in this no-feathers-barred fantasia that swirls around Paul (Daniel Robinson) and Eddie (Joey Dudding), the leads in a musical called "Adam and Steve Just the Way God Made ‘Em." Offstage, the pair act out the story of their own star-crossed lives: Paul, recently dumped, just wants to stay in, while Eddie’s still coming out. But rest assured that the show tunes will go on.
I can understand a gay man who’s not into musicals but he must at least like 1 in some way, shape or form. This movie plays off the sterotype that gay men all love musicals. In the process it looks are the two main character’s lives outside of the musical they are in as well as showing a take on the whole “God hates gays” thing. Intertwining the stage musical with Paul and Eddie’s real life allows for a very compelling story and they acting for the comedic and the serious elements of this movie is spot on. They know when to camp it up, and they know when to bring it down to Earth. This is a great little film and I completely recommend it.
Is It Just Me? (2010)
Director: J.C. Calciano
Writer: J.C. Calciano
Stars: Nicholas Downs, David Loren and Adam Huss
Summary: Although successful writer Blaine (Nicholas Downs) is kind and witty, he can’t find true love because he’s intimidated by the overt sexuality of guys such as his roommate, Cameron (Adam Huss). But all that changes when he meets the man of his dreams online — or does it? Shy Texan Xander (David Loren) seems to be Blaine’s ideal man, but when Blaine accidentally posts Cameron’s picture in his profile, a battle for Xander’s affections ensues.
This is another one of those embarassing comedies. Fully playing on the mistaken identity comedic trope. Don’t get me wrong, this trope can be authentically done well, and I do believe they did that here. The performances of the actors was just a little bit over the top. Not too much, just a little bit. It on occasion was distracting but for most people, it could be forgivable. Take this movie as you will. Not my cup of tea.
Is It Just Me?
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Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)
Director: John Cameron Mitchell
Writers: John Cameron Mitchell, and Stephen Trask
Stars: John Cameron Mitchell, Miriam Shor and Stephen Trask
Summary: After a botched sex-change operation, East German glam rocker Hansel (John Cameron Mitchell) becomes Hedwig and travels across the United States with a stage show, following her ex-boyfriend (and former band mate) and telling her life story. Hedwig’s offbeat show slays audiences — but in diners not clubs. Mitchell also wrote and directed the comedy, which won at the Sundance Film Festival and was nominated for several Independent Spirit Awards.
You know, I thought I was going to hate this movie. I really did. Fortunately, I didn’t think this was that bad and somewhat enjoyable. The performances were great and the music is fantastic. I don’t know what more to say about it. I didn’t think this film was amazing, but it was good.
Sordid Lives (2000)
Director: Del Shores
Writers: Del Shores (play and screenplay)
Stars: Delta Burke, Bonnie Bedelia and Olivia Newton-John
Summary: Bonnie Bedelia, Beau Bridges and Delta Burke star in Del Shores’s uproarious satire of Texan white-trash culture. When she trips over her lover’s wooden legs, Grandma Peggy meets her maker, and now her entire family is showing up for the funeral. With a raucous cast of characters ranging from feuding big-haired sisters to the cross-dressing Brother Boy, Shores skewers redneck society. Olivia Newton-John co-stars and provides music.
Good lord this has a star studded cast. One of the best parts about this film is that the actors know exactly what this film is and act it out exactly how it should be. This is a fun romp around a serious situation but you cannot help but enjoy the film. Olivia Newton-John’s part is minimal, seems like she’s just there to sing, but the little nuances she puts in there are perfect. I think this movie would surprise and delight most straight people as well. I can’t recommend this enough.
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